


pad thai

by tenhiraeth (orphan_account)



Category: NCT, WAYV
Genre: Bulimia, Idol universe, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Smut, ednos actually, i found this in my notes from like a year ago, idk i just needed to get some things off my chest pls dont be mad at me, im sorry, just johnten, please dont read if you get triggered easily, shower sex??
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:01:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25535506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/tenhiraeth
Summary: Ten has not eaten in two days. Johnny does not know why.Maybe he's just a little sick.Ten has not said anything on the Broadcast yesterday. Johnny still does not know why.Maybe he just was a little tired.& maybe we all are a little broken.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 1
Kudos: 36





	pad thai

**Author's Note:**

> none of this is real, this is all fiction!  
> the portrayed characters do not represent the actual people named.  
> please dont take this too serious or expect a lot its just a pile of thought-vomit
> 
> dont know if i will update it some day or continue it at all pls dont be mad at me for any of this

"Sorry, Johnny, I'm so sorry", Ten cried, as he flushed the vomit down the toilet. He knows this is wrong - he shouldn't do this. It's four in the goddamn morning.  
The dorm was empty, his cries unheard and choked on as he cleaned up countless empty plastic bags, once filled with chips, instant ramen, chocolate–

Click.  
"Fuck." Ten cursed under his breath as he pushed the rest of trash under his Bed.

"Hey, Babe", the scent of overused cologne on top of cigarettes' smell filled his senses before a soft pair of lips touched Tens neck and a pair of arms embraced his waist.  
"The other boys headed over to the dreamies' dorm. You know to play that one video game? or whatever"  
Tens body stiffens.  
His eyes must be swollen - red and he must smell like that, what he just flushed down the toilet minutes ago. Johnny can't see him like this, he shouldn't. Luckily the light in the room was limited, only the Streetlights outside exposing each others silhouettes.  
"Johnny.. I'm tired, let me go." Ten said, trying to turn away from the taller. 

"Ten-ah, don't be like this.. I thought you were the affectionate one between us.",  
Oh– how much Ten wanted to laugh at this, because it was true - he was the rather clingy one, even if he never showed it. He got jealous easily, wanting to claim Johnnys soft Lips as his.  
Wanting everyone else to rather stay distant, wanting Johnny to claim Ten as his too.

And it's not like he didn't. Yes, he claimed Ten too, kissing his body and leaving marks, scraching and biting - he liked to get rough. Tens body being too tempting to resist. Especially in nights like these; being intoxicated and a not quite able to control himself. 

Johnny kissed down Tens neck, knowing he was sensitive right there. A shaky breath left the smallers mouth while struggling to not give in.

"No, Johnny please. I mean it. I'm not in the mood.", he said softly. Johnny sighed before putting his chin onto Tens shoulder.  
"I'll take a shower - and you should too, Johnny. I can still smell the whiskey you downed." 

It wasn't the first time, or something new that Johnny was drunk, he was old enough, knew his limits and how to handle himself. 

After Ten finally succeeded to free himself he headed right for the bathroom, feeling a little ashamed - why would someone like Johnny would want to be intimate with him? Who couldn't even eat a normal amount of food without keeping it down. Who couldn't handle himself– his thoughts, his mind. Someone, who would try to cope with his problems with self-inflicted long, red, dripping stripes on his legs. 

The water burned on the half-healed cuts – yes, Johnny knew. Ten always insisted that 'they were old, i'm over it. don't worry.' That was not the truth. Oh — nowhere near it.

He hasn't cut in a few days – but the temptation was big. It's like the world around him would get cut out, it gets quiet and calm when he did it. Problems seem long forgotten, everything shut out. His stomach felt empty but the marks of self-hatred visible forever, the past was like burned into his skin, the once "chubby" Ten was the same. The same fragile Ten who cried on his own, who struggled alone, not asking for help, keeping everything to himself and stacking his problems on top of each one again and again.

__________________________

He felt dizzy.  
The music guiding him while taking slow breaths. Everything around him slowing down, trying to stay in rythm 

– fuck, fuck, fuck, don't you faint now. 

But then the music stopped and he collapsed on the ground, breathing hard and keeping his eyes closed, chest rising up and down. 

"Ten."  
The soft voice who made him feel so guilty and hard to resist just the night before.  
"Drink something."

Ten looked to his right, straight into Johnnys soft smile he'd fallen for so often - holding a bottle of water into the smallers direction. "Are you okay?" Ten nodded. "A little worn out."

It's fascinating. Johnny is able to take a three-hundred-sixty degree personality turn sometimes – being humble, kind and caring but then changing to an possessive, rough lover.

"Should we get some food? Let's go shower and then go to that Thai place you mentioned two days ago. I'll pay." To the smallers suprise, Johnnys voice sounded as exhausted as he felt. 

And "yes– please".  
Honestly, he can't remember the last healthy meal he ate which wasn't also purged up right after.  
Tens hate-love relationship with food and proper meals was stressful. His mind always wandering through thoughts he knows he shouldn't have. He shouldn't feel bad for eating his two-thousand calories a day in which he also exercises excessively anyway. He shouldn't make himself feel nauseous after eating proper meals. 

It was different with Johnny. Ten loved getting and sharing food with the older one. Talking their minds off– getting problems off their chest. Accepting, completing and listening to each other perfectly. Problems got forgotten and that's what no one else succeeded to do with Ten. It's weird.  
He loved spending his life with Johnny, it was his safety zone he trusted in and could be himself without being afraid what others think of him. Johnny made him feel whole. He made Ten feel loved.

But he hated to be this dependent on Johnny – Johnny here; Johnny there. He felt bad. He felt bad for not getting his life together and relying on the older so much.

______________________________

Tens moan echoed through the shower, he swore he wanted to be quiet. It wasn't like they weren't alone, they made sure everyone had left before. 

"J-Johnny, please, oh my god–"  
It was a hard and rough trust, hitting that special spot right away. The taller almost never failed to do so anyway - it felt like their bodies fit together like a puzzle.

Johnny pressed Ten against the wet ceramic tiles, the walls around his member tight. "Ten– fuck, I love you," It was faint and shaky, but it still sent goosebumps up the smallers spine.

They both were so hard and aching. In need for each other. Johnny sucking bloody-purple marks only Tens neck, trusting faster– he was close. 

Lots of sloppy wet kisses, they didn't care- their kisses didn't need to be perfect. Every moment they spent together was perfect, even if it wasn't.

"O-oh– I'm gonna come–", came out of Johnnys mouth with a cry of "Please" under his breath. And he did. A sharp angled trust into Ten made the smaller cry out too, cock twitching before spilling onto the wall. Both breathing heavily, smiling against each others lips.

"I might not say it a lot but, please remember that, Ten, I love you.", Johnny caressed Tens cheek, "oh, and be sure to cover these hickeys up. Manager-hyung won't be happy."

Ten put his arms around the others neck, "Yeah, I love you too."

______________________________

"This pad thai really is good, you were right." Johnny smiled, before picking up his spoon again. Ten smiled, the small hint of guilt long forgotten. This food was delicious- he couldn't deny it. Especially with Johnny. food with Johnny always was.

But he was full and it felt so sudden; the fullness bringing slight nausea to Ten. 

"Are you okay?"

Maybe he has gotten a little pale, but he was okay– that's what he told himself. It was okay to eat. Beautiful people do eat.

"Yeah. I just think I ate a little too much. Just finish, I'll wait."

Johnny was actually scared, he was much more scared than Ten knew. Scared for Ten- worrying about him. Johnny knew much more about Ten than the latter would ever want him to know. He wanted to stop him from much more than he did, he wanted to help.

He didn't know where to start.


End file.
